Better Communication Through Texting

Yes, I'm textually active. I text with so many people in a given day, that it's become my preliminary form of communication with nearly half of my dearest friends.  Is this to say that I prefer text over face-to-face contact? With one exception, no.  I'd much rather chat with them over lunch or walking around campus, but we just don't have the time.  Text is a quick and viable solution to our communication issues using technology that's with us almost all the time.

With this increased textual interaction, I've found the need for improved text etiquette.  Some of my text buddies are a bit on the sparse side, others a tad verbose.  How do I balance my interactions with these people in a way that is neither insulting nor annoying?

I propose a set of unified texting rules that we can all refer to, as well as some new terminology and a guide to etiquette.

Rules
1. Ask about texting hours (I prefer 10am to 10pm.)
2. No naked pics unless I ask for them.

Ettiquette
1. No more than 3 in a row before I get back to you...I'll answer when I can.
2. It's polite to send some sort of reply to let me know you got my text.
3. Text ping-pong should only happen between consenting couples.
4. If it requires more than 3 lines, call me or send an email.

Even if we all know these rules and guidelines, there's still confusion to be had.  As a girl, I'm very comfortable using emoticons.  Typically, guys don't.  This can lead to some pretty awful misunderstandings.  I'm going to suggest some terms that can help.

Shortcuts
1. brb - If you have to leave a ping-pong match suddenly.
2. ... - More to come in a minute (can't answer now.)
3. o&o - Over and out (I'm done with this conversation.)
4. 2em - Taking the subject to email.

Will this catch on worldwide?  Who knows.  As long as all the people who text with me read my blog - and I know the important ones do - then at least *my* texting life will get less complicated!

Can I Do Good All By Myself?

No, not "well"..."good."  I already know that I can do well, but that means slightly less to me at the moment.  In recent months I've been focusing on trying to do good things; mainly for youth and women.  My schedule is beginning to make it difficult to handle everything alone, so I'm having to broaden my comfort level and delegate.

Delegation is a good thing, right?  Makes life easier?  Where can I find the line between asking for help and taking advantage?  I dunno.  I'm not a big fan of asking someone to do what I can do myself.  I literally have to force myself to ask my kids to do things that I know they should do, out of fear that they'll turn into incapable adults if I keep providing everything for them.  Outside of that, though, I feel like it reflects poorly on me when I accept help from other people.  Almost as if I then owe them something.

That's an interesting concept, actually.  Owing something to someone.  I would willingly do almost anything for anybody, but I refuse to be in debt to anyone...especially a friend.  That makes everything a little more complicated.  It makes it hard for friends to treat me to lunch, difficult for guys to buy me a drink and near impossible for someone to help make my life easier.

I am an independent being.  Stubbornly so.  It appears as if I've regressed into the "autonomy" stage of childhood.  I feel like I have to do everything myself or else I submit to some doubting sense of shame as if others perceive me as incapable.  This behavior becomes a problem when it stops me from accomplishing as much positive change as I could otherwise affect as part of a team. For this reason, I'm asking for help.  I want your help giving to causes, building confidence in children and supporting the weak. 

For those of you who know me personally, I want you to hold me accountable for letting down this defense.  If you catch me denying a sincere offer of support, call me out on it.  Use a code word, hand gesture or flat-out rake me across the coals. I'm trying to change, but I don't have the hang of it yet. So, if you see me out in public somewhere waving my arms and singing at the top of my lungs, don't worry about me.  I'm most likely just trying to be a flash mob by myself. 

What Would You Choose: Brains or Beauty?

Recently, this little infographic has caused quite the bustle on the internet. Having been called "The Saddest Pink Infographic About Women In Tech You’ll Ever See," controversy is brewing as to whether or not this is the kind of publicity that women in computer science need.

Personally, I think this is fantastic.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to limit girls to dolls and boys to trucks, but I don't see any problem with leveraging a form of entertainment which tweens actively seek out in fashion magazines and online apps.

Let's start, first, with the idea that intelligent women "deserve more than this".  Yes.  That's true. They do.  But they deserve more than this without excluding this.  The big ol' pink infographic to the left is an extremely flattering representation of both mind and overall persona.  Why should a woman be limited to choosing brains or beauty?  The two are not mutually exclusive.  That's a point I've been trying to get across for a very long time!  Why is it an insult to a woman's intelligence to call her beautiful?  Isn't it okay to recognize all of the areas where she's putting in hard work?

Secondly, this infographic is cartoonish and sassy.  There is no point where it tries to pass itself off as indisputable fact.  The steps along the way may be cheeky, but if you don't like one of the options, you won't select it and it won't represent you.  That said, I'm a little offended that if you prefer the Adult Video Network over New York Fashion Week, you're given the hand.  At first glance, it feels like you can't be a computer scientist if you enjoy sex.  After further scrutiny, it becomes obvious that you just can't be one of these 5 highly successful tech women.  I guess we'll have to wait a while to know where I land, but even until then, I'm completely willing to give this card the thumbs-up.

Then Again, Maybe It's Not The Dawning of The Age of Aquarius...

Picture look familiar?  If you're a constant reader, it probably does.  That's because I was about to add this whole section as a comment to my blog from earlier, but it was just a little too full.

So, apparently, we've all been categorized incorrectly!  It seems that the original astrologers intended there to be 13 birth constellations, with an extra one between Scorpio and Sagittarius.  The repercussion of that is that none of us are what we say we are.

According to the article above, the true classifications are as follows:  "Capricorn is now Jan. 20 to Feb. 16; Aquarius, Feb. 16-March 11; Pisces, March 11-April 18; Aries, April 18-May 13; Taurus, May 13-June 21; Gemini, June 21-July 20; Cancer, July 20-Aug. 10; Leo, Aug. 10-Sept. 16; Virgo, Sept. 16-Oct. 30; Libra, Oct. 30-Nov. 23; Scorpio, Nov. 23-29; Ophuchicus, Nov. 29-Dec. 17; and Sagittarius, Dec. 17-Jan. 20."

That officially makes me a Capricorn.  So now, I'm supposed to believe that I'm inhibited, patient and unimaginative?  Not likely.  Aquarius is so perfectly suited for me that it's almost as if it were...well...written in the stars.  Was I destined to become this way because I'm an Aquarius or did I become this way because I grew up aware of what an Aquarius is?  Regardless of the cause and effect, I *am* an Aquarius through and through.

When I heard about this, I went and read the description of a Capricorn, thrilled that I may see a piece of myself that had been hidden since ancient times.  Instead, what happened is I had to call bullshit on the whole idea of a new structure.  A Capricorn only describes me in the highest-level "fill it in with your own thoughts" kind of way.  The Aquarius description continues to hold true even to my cellular level.  As an example, here's the definition of an Aquarius woman:

"The Aquarius woman is the ultimate independent woman. She is funny, smart, adventurous, never clingy or jealous, never demanding and not overly emotional. She is unpredictable and craves excitement. Anything goes with this woman and any man that she chooses will have an amazing relationship. Court her and woo her, she expects this ladylike treatment, she is old fashioned in that sense but be known that her mind is already made up and if she is not interested, she will never be interested. The relationship will progress slowly because she does not get emotionally involved very easily and she is not one for showy displays of romantic affection. The man who is trying to win her heart has to treat her with respect and treat her as an equal. Communication is key, this is how a relationship with an Aquarius woman evolves. Once she trusts you and you two grow closer, she is an amazing loyal and kindhearted person."

If you don't know me, you don't know how completely true this is.  If you do, you can probably see how intimately it relates to me.  I know there are skeptics who will say that this could apply to anyone, but really, this is a very specific description of a very specific type of relationship personality.

In any case, I'll stick to my original dawning and let the rest of y'all make up your own minds!

Turns Out That Tears Are a Tool, Not a Weakness

I knew it!  I knew that there was a reason that I have trouble controlling my tears when I get emotional.  I used to refer to those moments as "being a girl," but it turns out that I can now call it self-defense.  That's right, a recent study has shown that a woman's tears actually send chemical signals that cause a decrease in male testosterone.  This is great news for me.  That means that all this time, when I thought I was showing signs of defeat, I was really only beginning to fight. 

Apparently, a woman's tears emit a previously unknown pheromone which triggers a cut in a man's testosterone levels.  Low testosterone levels have been linked to a decrease in aggression as well as sex-drive.  Suddenly, my unwanted tears have been transformed into a magic potion, capable of rendering men powerless.  That is, they would be...if I were willing to cry with a guy in the room.

The True Cost of Technology

It's hard to turn on a computer these days without hearing about the way technology is saturating our lives. We have unlimited knowledge in the palm of our hands every moment of every day.  Nowadays, instead of merely immersing ourselves in television, we're submerged in news stories, storefronts and a non-stop stream of social interactions.  I have no fewer than six actual keyboard-laden computers in my daily life. I use them to work, to play, to inform...and if they were waterproof, I'd probably even use them to entertain myself on my long walks across campus (instead, I use my Droid or my iPod or one of my other pocket-sized micro computers.)  I have no doubt that I'm trading previous intellectual handicaps for new ones, but them's the breaks, baby.  I'm always on and I want my world to be, also.

Critics call this technological engorgement unnecessary, maybe even harmful.  Bill Murray may just be showboating in this 1982 clip, but the perspective that he's spouting is no less relevant today.  People continue to fear what they don't understand and the fear is even more potent when kids are involved. What is this newfangled high-tech world doing to our youth?  What is the cost of introducing our children to technology?

UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT!  Some psychologists claim that technology may be linked to ADD (or a more pleasantly named, Attention Deficit Trait - ADT.)  That is to say, instead of being an issue that can be treated, the need for a rapid stream of information to process becomes an intrinsic part of a child's character.  I won't dispute this, but I don't necessarily think we should prevent it.  Here's the part where I expect some discord: I think we should embrace ADT as a sort of mental evolution.  If our brains have the ability to work in a different manner, who is anyone to say that it's not the *right* manner?  Yes, I know, I know.  Elementary school isn't formatted for classrooms full of excitable, rapidly-thinking children.  Parent's aren't prepared to keep up with quizzical exploration and non-stop mental and physical activity.  The world isn't tailored to brains that function in this evolved way.  But maybe it should be.  This "trait" is currently identified as a "disorder" because it's inconvenient.  It's debilitating in our current system, but it's conceivable that it could become an asset.  THAT world, however, is mega-millions of manhours away, so I'll table this discussion for now.

I'm going to wrap up this blog with a completely different thought.  Instead of asking what the cost is of introducing our young children to technology, I'd like to ask what the cost will be if we don't.  Sure, we could save a few hundred dollars by not having that extra laptop to buy, which will undoubtedly be destroyed within it's first year of life, but what are we giving up in exchange?  The world where our children become grown-ups will be a fast-paced technical one, full of innovation and change.  As computational thinking becomes integral to our lives, so will jobs encompassing technology.  We're looking at an increase in the T-word in every feasible area: Nano-technology, environmental technology, biotechnology.  One day, technology will be associated with the rapid progression of advancements everywhere.  It only makes sense to allow our children the freedom to explore these necessary skills while their brains are still easily absorbing new information.  One bit of caution -- as with any powerful technique, guidance and responsible use are important elements if you want to create a healthy and happy future computer scientist.

Written in the Stars?

So, last week, I found out that my ex-boyfriend from Colorado (who had said that a long-distance relationship was just not right for him) had actually been seeing a girl from even farther away in Washington.  Not only was that enough to make me want to erase him from my life forever, it was also a huge source of liberation which allowed me to be okay with moving on.

I had just made up my mind to get back out there when I read this horoscope:

"If you had to put out a fire, you would search for the closest source of water. Time is critical when something is burning. Well, Aquarius, something is burning in your personal life. It may be an issue you have neglected, and now it is raging out of control. You don't have the luxury of time to be choosy about how you solve the problem. You need to look for the closest and most effective resource. Oddly, your timing is perfect, even though you procrastinated. If you focus now on solving a problem, you will get excellent results."

Sure enough, a date was immediately offered. I accepted and I had a great time.  You may be thinking "WOW! What perfect timing on that horoscope!" or "Just a coincidence." or any number of other reactions to the concept of looking to horoscopes for direction.  Whatever your reaction, you can bet I've heard something similar...but before I continue, let me back up.

I love fortune cookies.  Not for the cookie, but for the prophetic little slip of paper that you find when you crack that sucker open.  That cookie could have been selected by any random person and yet, it still holds power.  How?  Why?

Whether it's a fortune or a horoscope, I look at it the same.  It has less to do with the words being presented and more to do with the mind interpreting those words.  I think of these things as tools to assess our own life situations and highlight our true feelings by way of instantaneous association.  Just like dreams may be able to help us make sense of our jumble of daily details, "predictive" phrases can trigger hopes and emotions that might have been hidden in our conscious mind.  I'm not saying that fortunes and horoscopes are science or magic, but I *am* saying that they serve a legitimate purpose and should not be dismissed as fraudulent verbal snake oil.

Can a reaction to a prediction be taken too far?  Sure.  But if interpreted with a sane mind, a horoscope could also lead to good...well...fortune.  At very least, it could lead to a wonderful night out full of interesting company and great conversation.