Turns Out That Tears Are a Tool, Not a Weakness

I knew it!  I knew that there was a reason that I have trouble controlling my tears when I get emotional.  I used to refer to those moments as "being a girl," but it turns out that I can now call it self-defense.  That's right, a recent study has shown that a woman's tears actually send chemical signals that cause a decrease in male testosterone.  This is great news for me.  That means that all this time, when I thought I was showing signs of defeat, I was really only beginning to fight. 

Apparently, a woman's tears emit a previously unknown pheromone which triggers a cut in a man's testosterone levels.  Low testosterone levels have been linked to a decrease in aggression as well as sex-drive.  Suddenly, my unwanted tears have been transformed into a magic potion, capable of rendering men powerless.  That is, they would be...if I were willing to cry with a guy in the room.