Monday, September 15, 2008

Where did the silver moon go?

The evening sky cradled a beautiful harvest moon tonight. The mixture of the sunset and the haze from local wildfires turned this picture of nature into a true work of art, as the moon glowed a golden orange.

My son looked up into the sky, then asked me why the moons had been switched and what happened to the other one. At that moment, I was torn between my brain's need to educate him and my heart's desire to let him live in a state of magical mystery.

As we shuffled back into the car, I realized that I face the same battle between my mind and my heart when it comes to the decisions that I make for myself. My father is very logical. Because of that, there's a major chunk of me that wants to use my brain when making decisions. What's the cost-benefit analysis? What's the gain? How does it fit in to my plan?

Unfortunately, I'm also a hopeless romantic. Even though all evidence points to the contrary, I still believe that there's a knight in shining armor who will sweep me off my feet and love me with all of his heart and soul, the same way that I will love him. The emotional side of me is so strong, that I tend to lead with it. I worry about who my decisions will inconvenience and who might get hurt. Because of that, I'm constantly squelching my deepest desires in an effort to see everyone around me as happy as I can help them be.

My goal in this coming year is to balance those sides. For starters, I've decided that even though it's gonna inconvenience about a half-a-dozen people, I'm going to Freakin' CHINA! I'm going to get out there and live for myself for a while. I'm going to take care of myself and enjoy a few selfish hobbies.

When Prince Charming comes knocking at my door, I'm going to be geocaching, so he better bring his GPS!

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