The waiting is the hardest part

Ever since the first time I can remember flying, I've hated it. I have what I will refer to as the 'Acme Complex.' I know that people fly all the time, and the vast majority of those flights make it safely...but somehow I feel like if I look down, all that magic will drain and we'll suddenly fall from the sky, just like Wile E. Coyote has done so many times.

I admit that this thinking isn't limited to flying. I feel the same way about gravity to some extent...and molecules. 'Looking down' is obviously metaphorical for looking too deeply into the things that seem impossible. And somehow, I have no fear that my atoms will rearrange and very little fear that we will all suddenly be flung from earth.

In any case, the jitters that I get before a flight are inconsolable. I tell myself over and over that I'm gonna be fine and hear great friends reassure me that nothing's gonna happen. I know that, but we don't *know* that. So, anyway, here I sit, waiting in the airport.

The steps up to this point were mildly stressful, but only enough to be fodder for some good stories. I managed to get both my passport and visa inside of a month's time. My debit card was turned off because of a database leak, and a new card reissued, but that card wasn't here yet yesterday...I took care of that. I found out last week that there was no room reserved for the night that I arrive, but a friend took care of that, too (thanks Toby).

The most difficult thing so far is saying good-bye to my boys. I've never been away from them this long...or even half this long... and my heart is hurting already. They'll be with their Aunt Randee during the days and their daddy at night, so I know they're well taken care of, but it still pains me to go so long without having the chance to hug them. I've got several pics on my computer & iPod and I even printed some out so I can look at them on the fly.

As I was kissing them good-bye, acting like it was no big deal, Jackie asked me to please stay with him. I told him I couldn't, but he'd have so much fun with his cousins. He then informed me that he was coming with me. I smiled and told him that mommy only had one ticket, but I would be back in a week. Hopefully his brother will remind him that mommy's always thinking of them and I'll be back as soon as I'm able.

Well, that's the scoop so far! Stay posted and as time permits, I'll write more!